Tuesday, September 20

Kim's new Queendom

Where's a Ninja Honda when Kimberly Jones needs one? Today marks the first full day of incarceration for the 4' 11" fashionista. For the next (now) 365 days, this self-proclaimed biotch takes a "time out" for having perjured herself in the trial surrounding a shooting incident she had knowledge of outside of NYC's Hot 97-fm.

"It's been nonstop since the day I found out," the Busy B. told a Newseek reporter. "I knew when the verdict came down, and then the sentencing, that I didn't have any time to play around. I had to get the album done, and all the other things in my life settled quickly. I'd never done an album so fast before, and in a way it was a good thing. The music just kind of rolled out."

Kim's album The Naked Truth will be in stores Sept. 27. But while imprisoned, the Little Queen needn't worry about album sales -- nor her infamous "drag." Now is the time for a ghetto fabo to plan a new look, take her stunting to the next level.

Here's a little advice for this lovely lady while in search of a way back from set-back when a throw-back becomes a jumpoff. In other words, Kim, take this precious time to do in six steps what less fierce divas require twelve to accomplish:

Kim at Source Awards, but no kudos for prison sentence which started today Step 1: You'll first want to re-think that fashion statement. You know, tame it down to a Betsy Johnson-type roar. Betsy probably wouldn't hesitate to cover up with an orange jumpsuit. Now you can adopt said modest decorum, too.

Step 2: Hair curdling self-reflection for those suffering maggot brain is tough, but holding on to the past is worse. Be BIG, KIM. Get a bottle of M.C. Conditioner and wash those old worms right outta ya brain, for reinvention is the key to freedom.

Step 3: With a new attitude, grab an Magic 8-ball Toy and shake it like it's hot to settle on a new way of presenting self. If the cameras are running, don't spazz out. Remain calm, as The Roots would say, and this too shall pass. Because if you don't keep it all together...

Step 4: You're fired! People in high places will be watching, Kim, and you never know what opportunities your good behavior may inspire. It's all about the Benjamins, baby, so make like another famous Lady (Jail) Bird and...

Step 5: Let this filthy rich woman be your role model. You needn't participate in the Xmas Tree Decorating Contest, if that's not your thing. Go deep within, Kimmie, and share your talent for verbalism. Jump off a creative writing class for the next 365 days, do something constructive and stay strong!

Step 6: The Look of Recovery?! A jumpoff, for real... Viqi French Fever - The Hot Nu Music Blog


Clicks to Miles Davis catalog, but explore as you like


Anonymous Anonymous said...

sorry but wearing that dress, lil' kim needs to be locked up for life.

4:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Umm....... Excuse me, but I like Kim's style. Specially that back shot poster she put out. Don't hate the playa, hate the game cause the Queen got it on lock.

1:50 PM  

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