Monday, October 31

Book 'I'm Every Woman' by Lonnae O'Neal Parker

Read an exceptional essay on black female sexuality this morning at Washington Post online, written by Style section reporter Lonnae O'Neal Parker. The piece starts off with O'Neal Parker painting a too-familiar landscape of female sexuality in her colorful immediate family, starring her:

  • Enviable Aunt Jackie, an old school sex-pot who's always known how to work it
  • Offended Granny, who criticized Clarence Thomas during his Anita Hill blue period, saying "What make it so bad, he was talkin' about havin' URRRL sex!"
  • Razor-sharp historical insights, touching none too lightly on the Hottentot Venus, the rape and breeding of black women during slavery and more.

    Rendering of a young South African woman, Saarjite Baartman, who was captured in the early 1800's and brought to Paris for caged display of her generous curves.  Known as La Venus Hottentot, when Baartman died at age 26, her genitals were preserved and remained on display in a museum up until the 1980's.
    We've sure come a long way, baby, as O'Neal Parker's piece capably demonstrates. She says she's finally put it all together (sexually) and now has a secret sauce of her own. In her marriage, she makes like Jill Scott, which involves the strategic cooking of meals as groovy as collard greens and sensuous lip lickin'.

    To promote her forthcoming book, I'm Every Woman: Remixed Stories of Marriage, Motherhood and Work, O'Neal Parker chats live at 1 p.m. today at



Darn. Got trapped on a conference call so missed the above chat with the Washington Post writer and soon-to-be author, Lonnae O'Neal Parker. Found the chat's "trail" though, and it seems to have been a good one. Though many serious topics surrounding black feminine sexuality were discussed, this lighter note gave me a good chuckle:

Question from Fairfax, Va.: I really liked your story, but I was surprised to read that you use sex appeal and sex to manipulate your husband into giving you what you want. What, if anything, did you learn from your female relatives about playing sexual games within a marriage?

Answer by Lonnae O'Neal Parker: Um, that it worked? Actually, it's not as unyielding as you make it out to be. I would argue sometimes my husband uses sex to try to manipulate me. And sometimes that works well. In the context of a fully realized, long-term adult relationship, all sorts of complexities and power dynamics come into play. I'm just glad he and I can joke about them.


No, he's not "every woman," but special prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald seems bent on showing he is The Man. Today the says that Fitzgerald played the card that many watching the Scooter Libby/Valerie Plame debacle knew was up his sleeve: he'll be calling Dick Cheyney to the witness stand. Fitzgerald doesn't want closed door, videotaped testimony, etc. He wants Dick naked as all out-doughs.

As usual, Cheyney's folks are saying he won't be coming, citing executive priviledge. The man seems to have more privilege and more to hide than the law should allow. Really. If the 1st Amendment-protected reporters Libby spoke with about Plame had to give up the 4-1-1, shouldn't Dick Cheyney, too?

Clicks to Miles Davis catalog, but explore as you like


Blogger Cassandra said...

I'm glad to hear Parker say she thinks the 'manipulation' goes both ways. That disturbed me a bit in her piece. Either way, a sense of humor is key in getting along with a man :D Great piece - I really enjoyed it.

4:45 PM  
Blogger asoulflower said...

Thank you so much for your comment! You have such an interesting blog here. I got lost for a minute just getting into all your information.

8:22 PM  
Blogger Viqi French said...

hi cassandra,
you know, it didn't bother me at all that lonnae said she manipulates her man. mostly because i see a woman's traditional "role" in marriage something like a lifetime of her being manipulated.

so she has to think and act outside the box to ensure that he returns a few of her selfless, unending favors. so be it, in my mind.

11:51 PM  

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