Wednesday, January 11

Flavor Flav-o-gram, ma'am?

Lord, what's the world coming to? Tuesday night I had Public Enema #1 -- reality TV star Flavor Flav -- unloading a lotta Yeah, Boyeeee in one ear. In the other was V.F.F. commenter, Udaman, all but calling Bill Clinton a serial killer. Well, neither was literally "in my ear." But both left hilariously rotten impressions. In a "I don't believe this #*$@#&!" sort of way...

Re: Flavor Flav -- For some unknowable reason, I watched his VH1 show, Flavor of Love. What was astonishing is that Flav seemed to be one of the saner characters on the set (but for his head-spinning attire). Point is, the show is sort of like The Bachelor, with a cadre of stripper-type chicks vying for his... clock? Never in life have I witnessed a more psychotic bunch of hookers. Just when I knew which of these demonic dames to hate, VH1's Flavor of Love nemisis, Miss New York along came another whose pathology clearly superceded unsavory vixen #1's. Miss Hottie is proving more psycho than the hateful Miss New York This one on the right seems about ready to burn the bunny of the gold (teeth) digga with the flora in her Yaki.

If you like the train wreck that is Being Bobby Brown, you'll love Flavor of Love. It's eerily better. I mean worse. I mean better because it's so much worse... Fantastically horrific it is, in its dizzying pole dance toward Jerry Springer-ish fist fights. But over Flavor friggin' Flav?!

If you don't believe the hype, just set your my neck-clock to catch the sleezy show next Tuesday night.

Then, in an effort to detox from Flav's intriguingly gutter show, I popped online and found a comment left by Udaman... Thanks, U-man, for letting me know about the 9/11 documentary I was unable to view, but really: That Bill Clinton conspiracy site you directed me to is nuts.

No joke, the site lists over 40 entries of "mysterious deaths" in which the author tries to implicate my man Clinton. I swear, people can publish all manner of lies on the Internet. I laughed out loud when the author implied that Bubba C. was somehow involved in Ron Brown's death. This I rate right up there on the laughometer with the military having bombed the New Orleans levee.

Sorry, U-man, but I just can't buy it. This ever flavorful, old white chocolate boyeee is many things, but come on... A serial hit-orderer? The way I see it, if Monica Lewinsky's still alive, the man is likely fairly harmless. Besides, Bush has a lot more blood on his hands in Iraq alone, never mind the theories out there about 9/11.

Clicks to Miles Davis catalog, but explore as you like


Anonymous UDAMAN said...


to paraphase macbeth: "methinks da sista doth protest too much..."


7:48 AM  
Blogger Viqi French said...

okay, uda. you busted me. lol yes, i've got the closet hots for bubba clinton. last time i was in harlem, i sorta stalked the block where his office in the 'hood is located. if clinton walked through my door right now, i'd have a melt down you know where. :-)

i love this man and would clap "hercules!!!" if he ran for president again. he is the only white chocolate on the planet that can make me drool. oh, and let me not be remiss: my 401(k) was SMOKING when clinton was in office. what's not to love?

8:10 AM  
Anonymous UDAMAN said...

viqibaby: I was referring to Flava....not Bubba.

7:45 PM  
Blogger Viqi French said...

uda! you are a trip! lol you smoked me out on my little bill clinton crush.

i won't even dignify your reference to flav. :-)

4:21 AM  
Anonymous gjipn said...

"Hatest thou not the Player but hatest thou the Game."

- Udmanicus 477 BC

5:52 AM  
Blogger Viqi French said...


how many names you got, mane? come thou out fromst under dat der sheet!

5:57 AM  
Anonymous keithpullingteeth said...

Flava Flav is yet another Black crackhead the networks are using for baffoonish entertainment. He and Bobby Brown both set us back to Step 'n Fetchit times. I wouldn't watch this shit if somebody paid me.

10:10 AM  
Anonymous UDAMAN said...


lol..."gjipn" was a typo...gotta get da props for that one..


11:14 AM  
Blogger Viqi French said...


you know what, i kinda like your "new" name, "gjipn". that's so, so sex-say! sounds a little like moanin' in the middle of the night. lol

12:40 PM  
Anonymous UDAMAN said...

oooh viqi!

8:21 PM  
Blogger Viqi French said...

oooh uda! u da MAN, big poppa!

8:46 AM  

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